Troy Buswell Quokka Soccer Blogger A Flogger

Perth, Political, Society 5 Comments

For those who have not bothered to google for the blog where the Troy Buswell quokka-kicking rumour originated, click here for the home page of the offending blogger, Matt Hayden.

Further down in my post (in blue) I’ve published in its sorry entirety this wanker’s stupid and thuggish quokka-soccer post incriminating Buswell, but for those who want to see it in its original context, it can be accessed here.

I am an active blogger, have long supported and promoted the cause of the citizen journo, and look upon the mainstream media with general disdain (and the Libs, for that matter). Going by the content and general timbre of his posts, the same applies to Matt Hayden.

But he has undermined the credibility of bloggers everywhere with his Buswell quokka post, which amounts to an act of blogging vandalism. The most outrageous instances of foul play can sometimes be saved by humour – sometimes - but Hayden’s quokka post was not remotely funny as it was written, and I do not believe it was intended to be. The tone of the post gave no indication that it was tongue-in-cheek as Hayden is now claiming.

Pause. Let’s be real generous here and accept, for a moment, that his quokka post was not some pathetic attention-seeking ploy or a wanton act of nasty mischief, but a stupid and inept attempt at satire. The least Hayden should do now is accept responsibility for his grubby handiwork and apologise not only to Troy Buswell, but to the media he gypped with his ruse and TO BLOGGERS EVERYWHERE, whose credibility he has undermined.

Well, in his post of May 15, he has apologised to Buswell, no doubt quaking in fear of having a defamation suit slammed on him (which I think he deserves), but that’s where his contrition ends.

Indeed, there is a sense of boast and smartarse attention-basking in his comments in his recent posts:

The fact that someone seems to have taken what I write literally and it’s made national headlines has made me think about the tone of this blog… [duh, dat’s a good idea, Haydeyho]… I’m trying to make my point in an entertaining way… So, I have a growl about stuff that’s out there, knowing full well that I have Buckley’s chance of actually influencing the world, but a reasonable chance of getting a few wuckas out there in Computerland. (Though, now it seems I sorta have influenced the world! Funny, that.)

Funny, is it? Buswell’s not laughing. Neither is the mainstream media. Nor am I. And I suspect the great majority of bloggers are with me on this.

Hayden continues to defend himself thus:

I use colloquial terms and heaps of italics to make it all seem a bit over the top. And then every now and then I throw stuff in that’s hyperbolic and utterly ridiculous, just to make it clear that in the end, it’s not meant to be taken seriously.

In his post of May 15 apologising to Buswell, he writes:

Yep, a while ago, when the Buswell scandals started, I wrote what I thought was a very clearly tongue-in-cheek story. I’d call it a verbal cartoon.

But clearly a case of blogosphere Chinese whispers has resulted, and it’s now a white hot national headline.

Not quite “white hot”, wanker. This is your 15 minutes of fame, and tomorrow it will all be forgotten, except by Troy Buswell and people like me who are affronted by your dishonesty and the shame you have brought on the blogosphere.

Why “dishonesty”? OK. Let’s scrutinise the offending article. Here it is in its entirety:

Looks like Troy Buswell is really going to be put through the ringer by his foes across the floor, and the West Oz meeja.

See, that bra-strap snapping incident wasn’t a one-off. Another drunken act of lechery was so extreme it seems to have resulted in the victim — an MP herself — quitting politics. The incident is thought to have occurred on the island of Rottnest during a Liberal shindig a coupla years back.

And a friend of a friend whose sister shared a house with a chick whose uncle is a janitor at the Weld Club reckons there’s another Rottnest related rumour doing the rounds. Something about a videotape of Buswell and other plastered Libs playing “quokka-soccer” … The WA Libs’ present troubles will seem like a walk in the park if that ever surfaces.

Two italicised words, “and” and “another”. The sort of colloquial language that is a given in any blog, serious or comedic. Where’s the “over-the-top” part, Hayden? Where is the “hyperbolic and utterly ridiculous stuff” that gives the reader the nudge nudge wink wink that this is flippant romance, not real dirt? Is there a single signal in that piece of shit that alerts the reader that it is intended as satire or that it’s “not meant to be taken seriously” or is “very clearly tongue-in-cheek”? No, there fucking isn’t, you lying crapartist. Verbal cartoon? Fuck off!

Not content with attempting to retrospectively force his rumour-mongering into the mould of satire/gag, in his post of 15 May he attempts to shift the blame for his dirty work on to multiple parties. He writes:

I thought that most people reading blogs were discerning. Obviously not. To the person who went mainstream with what was clearly a gag I have these two responses:

If you didn’t get the gag, you need to get out more.

If you did get the gag, and wilfully misinterpreted it to give Buswell more grief, then you’re right down there below quokkas on the food chain. You’re a rat. And if you cross my path, I’ll take pleasure in kicking you!

Still, I’ve gotta say, it’s all pretty funny. Fact that this has happened says heaps about the meeja.

So, it’s the “meeja’s” fault! AND undiscerning readers who need to “get out more”. AND the “person who went mainstream with what was clearly a gag.” (Clearly? Clear as mud. And suddenly mighty clear to Hayden now, running scared from that defamation suit).

Just to cover all bases, he cracks all righteous and moralistic at the possibility that the “rat” who infected the “mainstream” with the quokka rumour actually did interpret the source post as a “gag” but went ahead and “wilfully” spread the rumour to damage poor Mr Buswell. Oh, puh-LEASE! There’s only one rat here, and you can see a picture of him looking like the self-fond tosser he is, right there on his blog home page.

Just to ensure there is no clarity issue with this post, I’ll say it again: Hayden owes not only Buswell an apology, but other bloggers, and the media he sucked in with his nasty ruse. Instead, this coward has shirked from accepting any real responsibility, shifting blame to the media for taking his post literally, to “undiscerning” readers, to some fictitious “rat” who sought to infect Buswell with political bubonic plague, and to the blogosphere itself! Some more clarity for ya, Matt mate - there is no “Chinese whispers” effect here. Chinese whispers distort the original message; in this case, the sole source of the muck is Hayden’s contemptible quokka post.

This narcissistic and unethical twat has abused the privilege of free public speech that is precious to all bloggers, and in so doing has dishonoured his fellow bloggers and white-anted our public standing. He has sold us out for a few minutes in the spotlight.

Apologise, you prick. Or take your blog down and fuck off. You are undeserving of a place on the blogosphere.

Barry Hall Interview (podcast): Big Bad Bazza on Brainsnaps, The Fev, Wayne and Cuz!

AFL, Podcasts No Comments

A little later than I would have liked, yes, but this is a scoop - so quiet down ye restless natives, for deliverance is finally upon ye.

Here, now, exclusive to the Boomtown Rap, I’m proud to present for your entertainment and enlightenment an interview with big bad Barry “Brainsnap” Hall, conducted over the phone by yours truly a couple of weeks ago.

During the interview, Bazz explains what those notorious brainsnaps are all about, but not only that - he has one during the interview! And it’s a doozy. So much so that he flung the phone (and other missiles) against the nearest hard surface(s) in his hotel room, and cut us off. I phoned him back once the rubble had settled. He then reveals the three illuminaries of the AFL whose counsel he has sought in learning to manage his anger, and gives us the good oil on Ben “Doof Doof” Cousins.

Crack a VB, turn on yer speakers, make yerselves comfortable…

Barry “Brainsnap” Hall interview (duration 6 minutes)

[Intro music from song The Telephone Jive © Ross Buncle 1993 - All rights reserved;
“Doof doof” music is Svenson & Gielen’s Twisted Energy (Radio Edit) - free download here]

Related posts:

  • Why Has The Nanny State Forsaken Our Jocks?!
  • Ben Cousins: Child of the Nanny State
  • Flying High, Starring Ben Cousins – Solo!
  • Good Things Come To Those Who Wait…

    AFL, Podcasts No Comments

    Goin down the South-West, gonna have meself a time…

    Yep, hordes, I’ll be away for a few days, but have I got a scoop lined up for next week, when I return. I have already recorded, secreted away in a safe place, an exclusive interview with none other than big bad Barry “Brainsnap” Hall! And if that wasn’t enough, he’s got news on Cuz, Wayne and Fev AND has one of those famous BRAINSNAPS during the interview! This is beyond podcast - it’s a podblast!

    Fail to check in next week and you’ll automatically qualify for the Boomtown Rap Loser of Losers Award for 2008. SO much to look forward to. Whoa - better stop…think I’m fibrillating with the excitement of it all…

    Back with ya in a few days.

    Why Has The Nanny State Forsaken Our Jocks?!

    AFL, Society 1 Comment

    Came across a shocking report on news.com today of a Darwin mother dobbing in her serially offending 16 year old son to the cops for stealing. Not only that - she was hoping “the little bastard” would be thrown in the clink, and bemoaned the leniency of the justice system when junior received only a finger tap on the wrist. She was quoted thus: “It annoys me that my taxes are being spent like this. You do the crime, you do the time. It’s the only way you learn.”

    Told ya it was shocking. A parent of today advocating her brat be made to face the consequences of his actions? That her own progeny be forcefully educated on the notion of personal responsibility?

    Then again, her little shit isn’t a jock, and you’d hope her attitude would be different if he was. Jocks, remember, are a protected species in the wide brown land, born faultless. But we call ourselves a democracy, and one of the great flaws of our system is that we have to pretend to treat everyone approximately equally. One of the rotten fruits of this utopianism is the sort of legal egalitarianism that poor Nick D’Arcy and poor Barry Hall have recently fallen victim to. Read the rest…

    Podcast From The Womb of the Boom (final) - A Perth Boomer Tells His Story (Part 4: Tax the Poor, Not the Rich!)

    Perth, Perth real estate, Podcasts, Political, Society No Comments

    Now, for your delectation, the final podcast in this series of excerpts from my interviews with Perth mining company executive and boom beneficiary, Mr Hilton Casey-Urqhuart-Newton-Thomas.

    Here, Casey-Urqhuart-Newton-Thomas identifies the 3 virtues he considers essential if you want to “get on in life” - which I presume means heaving home seriously fat bacon, like him. Yet, as he tells it, life for the triple income salary earner does not always go down as smoothly as a 1990 Grange. Read the rest…

    Podcast From The Womb of the Boom - A Perth Boomer Tells His Story (Part 3: The Secret of Success)

    Perth, Podcasts, Popular Culture, Society, personal development No Comments

    In this, the third and penultimate post in this podcast series, successful mining company executive Mr Hilton Casey-Urqhuart-Newton-Thomas (now there’s an acronym!) reveals why he is thriving from the Perth boom and points an accusatory finger directly at those who are not.

    Don’t get mad, busted bum boomtime battlers - get wise! Listen in and take careful note of all Mr Casey-Urqhuart-Newton-Thomas has to say.

    In essence, he claims that anyone can do as well as he has and if you’re one of the have-nots, it’s your fault. So take responsibility, get yourself a personal coach, read Rhonda Bryne’s The Secret, set your goals, visualise, action your plan and hold on for the ride to riches. Simple? You ain’t heard nothin’ yet! Ignore this podcast at your material and spiritual peril.

    Hilton Interview Part 3: The Secret of Success (duration 5 minutes 40 secs)

    (Intro music from song When Surfin’ Was #1 © Ross Buncle 1993;
    All rights reserved)

    Related posts:

  • Podcast From The Womb of the Boom - A Perth Boomer Tells His Story (Part 2: Lifestyle)
  • Podcast From The Womb of the Boom - A Perth Boomer Tells His Story (Part 1: Job and Home)
  • Perth – More Brass Than Class
  • Dark Side Of The Boom
  • Rent With Angst - The Real Victims of the Home Affordability Crisis
  • Is There Something Fishy About Perth Price Increases?
  • Boomtown Lament
  • Podcast From The Womb of the Boom - A Perth Boomer Tells His Story (Part 2: Lifestyle)

    AFL, Perth, Podcasts, Society No Comments

    After a frustrating delay due to technical issues, the podcasting wrinkles have been ironed out smooth as Hilton’s blue business shirt. So, on with the Hilton interviews.

    Hilton, you’ll recall, is one of the legions of mining company employees who have struck serious paydirt in the boom city of Perth, Western Australia.

    For those who have just tuned in, in the initial podcast of this 4-part series (see previous post), we learnt that Hilton is a mining company executive in his thirties living his dream as Manager of Documents. Not for him the sweat and grime of the open-cut mines of the far North - Hilton’s office is in a high rise block in St George’s Terrace. Commuting between there and his fine seafront home in the nouveau opulent Perth suburb of Iluka, Hilton enjoys a lux lifestyle with his wife and 2 kids. Wine cellar, Yallingup holiday house, top of the wozza 4WD with a chrome bullbar to die for (and indeed, that’s your guaranteed fate if you’re in a car hit side on by this baby) - Hilton has it all. Read the rest…

    Podcast From The Womb of the Boom - A Perth Boomer Tells His Story (Part 1: Job and Home)

    Perth, Perth real estate, Podcasts, Political, Society 6 Comments

    If you’ve spent any time on this blog, you’ll be well familiar with my attitude towards this bloody Boom and the ways it has changed Perth.

    While the mainstream media was blasting headlines at us week in, week out, about the explosion in real estate prices and hyping up Perth as the new glamour capital of Australia, some of us were recoiling in despair. Read the rest…

    And the Boomtown Rap Silver Spoon Best Perth Food Critic Award goes to…

    Food, Perth 2 Comments

    It’s taken me a while longer to get this post up than intended. Was doing some stretches on the floor a few days ago and my lower back went into the most excruciating spasm. Have been shuffling around bent over like a reading lamp ever since, unable to tolerate more than a few minutes at a time seated in front of the computer lest my back seize up and weld me to the chair. A spinal version of that dire risk face-pulling kids are traditionally warned about of the wind changing and freezing them in some grotesque grimace for life. Gotta stand. Back in a few minutes…cre-e-e-eak…

    Last post I awarded the inaugural Boomtown Rap Wooden Spoon for worst food critic in the West to one Ms Jacqui Bahr, of The Vincent Voice. Ms Bahr can take some solace in having inspired the creation of this award – at least her “winning” review was remarkable, albeit remarkably bad. Most of her food critic brethren and sistren in Perth are so mediocre, so bland, as to be unworthy of any comment at all.

    There is but a solitary shining light among local food critics, representing a glimmer of hope and comfort like Gatsby’s green light across the bay to the few who, like me, actually care about such things. I refer to…drum roll… Read the rest…

    Now THIS Is Hard to Stomach!

    Food, Perth No Comments

    You know those annually issued gold books full of restaurant discount vouchers that every second bozo whips out like a hidden derringer when settling the bill? You hope the junior waitperson is on at the cash register when you pay, because if it’s the restaurateur, there’s this sense of false cheer (and occasional outright resentment) when they spy your voucher and realise that their profits are going to be lighter the weight of the discount.

    I don’t like using the vouchers for that reason, but maybe that’s just me and my guilt complex. I know a couple who swap vouchers with other gold book holders to accumulate multiple discounts at their favourite eateries, where they unashamedly front up with apparently endlessly materialising vouchers time after time. Whatever…

    Boomtown Rap regulars will be familiar with my financially undernourished state of being. Without the assistance of the gold book discounts, I would only rarely be able to indulge my love of eating out. I don’t get The Book every year, but I’ve bought it enough times to have tried out a fair sample of Perth restaurants that under non-discount circumstances would be out of my price range. And I have to say, my impression is not generally favourable. Read the rest…

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