For those who have not bothered to google for the blog where the Troy Buswell quokka-kicking rumour originated, click here for the home page of the offending blogger, Matt Hayden.

Further down in my post (in blue) I’ve published in its sorry entirety this wanker’s stupid and thuggish quokka-soccer post incriminating Buswell, but for those who want to see it in its original context, it can be accessed here.

I am an active blogger, have long supported and promoted the cause of the citizen journo, and look upon the mainstream media with general disdain (and the Libs, for that matter). Going by the content and general timbre of his posts, the same applies to Matt Hayden.

But he has undermined the credibility of bloggers everywhere with his Buswell quokka post, which amounts to an act of blogging vandalism. The most outrageous instances of foul play can sometimes be saved by humour – sometimes – but Hayden’s quokka post was not remotely funny as it was written, and I do not believe it was intended to be. The tone of the post gave no indication that it was tongue-in-cheek as Hayden is now claiming.

Pause. Let’s be real generous here and accept, for a moment, that his quokka post was not some pathetic attention-seeking ploy or a wanton act of nasty mischief, but a stupid and inept attempt at satire. The least Hayden should do now is accept responsibility for his grubby handiwork and apologise not only to Troy Buswell, but to the media he gypped with his ruse and TO BLOGGERS EVERYWHERE, whose credibility he has undermined.

Well, in his post of May 15, he has apologised to Buswell, no doubt quaking in fear of having a defamation suit slammed on him (which I think he deserves), but that’s where his contrition ends.

Indeed, there is a sense of boast and smartarse attention-basking in his comments in his recent posts:

The fact that someone seems to have taken what I write literally and it’s made national headlines has made me think about the tone of this blog… [duh, dat’s a good idea, Haydeyho]… I’m trying to make my point in an entertaining way… So, I have a growl about stuff that’s out there, knowing full well that I have Buckley’s chance of actually influencing the world, but a reasonable chance of getting a few wuckas out there in Computerland. (Though, now it seems I sorta have influenced the world! Funny, that.)

Funny, is it? Buswell’s not laughing. Neither is the mainstream media. Nor am I. And I suspect the great majority of bloggers are with me on this.

Hayden continues to defend himself thus:

I use colloquial terms and heaps of italics to make it all seem a bit over the top. And then every now and then I throw stuff in that’s hyperbolic and utterly ridiculous, just to make it clear that in the end, it’s not meant to be taken seriously.

In his post of May 15 apologising to Buswell, he writes:

Yep, a while ago, when the Buswell scandals started, I wrote what I thought was a very clearly tongue-in-cheek story. I’d call it a verbal cartoon.

But clearly a case of blogosphere Chinese whispers has resulted, and it’s now a white hot national headline.

Not quite “white hot”, wanker. This is your 15 minutes of fame, and tomorrow it will all be forgotten, except by Troy Buswell and people like me who are affronted by your dishonesty and the shame you have brought on the blogosphere.

Why “dishonesty”? OK. Let’s scrutinise the offending article. Here it is in its entirety:

Looks like Troy Buswell is really going to be put through the ringer by his foes across the floor, and the West Oz meeja.

See, that bra-strap snapping incident wasn’t a one-off. Another drunken act of lechery was so extreme it seems to have resulted in the victim — an MP herself — quitting politics. The incident is thought to have occurred on the island of Rottnest during a Liberal shindig a coupla years back.

And a friend of a friend whose sister shared a house with a chick whose uncle is a janitor at the Weld Club reckons there’s another Rottnest related rumour doing the rounds. Something about a videotape of Buswell and other plastered Libs playing “quokka-soccer” … The WA Libs’ present troubles will seem like a walk in the park if that ever surfaces.

Two italicised words, “and” and “another”. The sort of colloquial language that is a given in any blog, serious or comedic. Where’s the “over-the-top” part, Hayden? Where is the “hyperbolic and utterly ridiculous stuff” that gives the reader the nudge nudge wink wink that this is flippant romance, not real dirt? Is there a single signal in that piece of shit that alerts the reader that it is intended as satire or that it’s “not meant to be taken seriously” or is “very clearly tongue-in-cheek”? No, there fucking isn’t, you lying crapartist. Verbal cartoon? Fuck off!

Not content with attempting to retrospectively force his rumour-mongering into the mould of satire/gag, in his post of 15 May he attempts to shift the blame for his dirty work on to multiple parties. He writes:

I thought that most people reading blogs were discerning. Obviously not. To the person who went mainstream with what was clearly a gag I have these two responses:

If you didn’t get the gag, you need to get out more.

If you did get the gag, and wilfully misinterpreted it to give Buswell more grief, then you’re right down there below quokkas on the food chain. You’re a rat. And if you cross my path, I’ll take pleasure in kicking you!

Still, I’ve gotta say, it’s all pretty funny. Fact that this has happened says heaps about the meeja.

So, it’s the “meeja’s” fault! AND undiscerning readers who need to “get out more”. AND the “person who went mainstream with what was clearly a gag.” (Clearly? Clear as mud. And suddenly mighty clear to Hayden now, running scared from that defamation suit).

Just to cover all bases, he cracks all righteous and moralistic at the possibility that the “rat” who infected the “mainstream” with the quokka rumour actually did interpret the source post as a “gag” but went ahead and “wilfully” spread the rumour to damage poor Mr Buswell. Oh, puh-LEASE! There’s only one rat here, and you can see a picture of him looking like the self-fond tosser he is, right there on his blog home page.

Just to ensure there is no clarity issue with this post, I’ll say it again: Hayden owes not only Buswell an apology, but other bloggers, and the media he sucked in with his nasty ruse. Instead, this coward has shirked from accepting any real responsibility, shifting blame to the media for taking his post literally, to “undiscerning” readers, to some fictitious “rat” who sought to infect Buswell with political bubonic plague, and to the blogosphere itself! Some more clarity for ya, Matt mate – there is no “Chinese whispers” effect here. Chinese whispers distort the original message; in this case, the sole source of the muck is Hayden’s contemptible quokka post.

This narcissistic and unethical twat has abused the privilege of free public speech that is precious to all bloggers, and in so doing has dishonoured his fellow bloggers and white-anted our public standing. He has sold us out for a few minutes in the spotlight.

Apologise, you prick. Or take your blog down and fuck off. You are undeserving of a place on the blogosphere.